By: Dr Memchoubi Phanjoubam
Smokescreens and red herrings belong to the genre of red taped high profile intrigues and clandestine activities of terribly important people. But, what to do? There is this story with the smokiest screen and the reddest herring around this part of the land, which I simply must tell you.
Many, many years ago when the air had more oxygen and less carbon dioxide, and less people lived at a place at a time, when life and livelihood were more transparent and before I even took shape inside my mother`s womb or rather before my mother took shape inside her mother`s womb, this story took place. Here is how it goes.
One morning, a local drunkard was found dead inside his room in his house where he lived alone. That too, in his bed. Looking peacefully asleep, with blankets upto his neck, he was the picture of eternal tranquility and serenity. So, at last he had come to a peaceful end.
His neighbours grieved for him. Since he had no one to call his own, they took up the responsibility of performing his last rites. In the Hindu custom, the dead body has to be carried out of the house and kept in a corner of the courtyard. Its worldly attire has to be changed as a part of the sacred rituals.
Well, during this process, something unusual was noticed by the priest. There was a bloody avulsion of the private parts of the deceased. Aghast, the priest announced this to the bystanders. All of them looked at the horrible sight. It seemed as if someone with a diabolic mind had castrated him. Therefore, the assumption of natural death from being a chronic alcoholic was ruled out. This looked like a case of foul play made to appear otherwise.
The next question was to find out the circumstances of death and the culprits responsible for the crime. Police was informed and an investigation into the case started.
Thorough investigation into the crime scene i.e. his bedroom where he was found revealed no evidence of disturbance, or being broken into, no blood stains, no sharp projecting objects upon which he could have fallen accidentally, being a drunkard; not even disturbance of his clothes. However, his door was not locked. Anyone could have come and gone. Even the possibility of a pet or a stray dog eating his private parts after death was considered but that was unlikely as his clothes were not disturbed at all.
Now, the case was becoming more and more shrouded in mystery. The investigating officer thought it necessary to interrogate all those who saw this man just before his death. Who he talked with last, what transpired in that conversation, who were his drinking partners etc. were all elicited. But, as expected, nothing out of the way came to light. Thinking deeply and looking carefully around, the investigator thought that the best friend of the deceased was the last link to the dead man`s life. So, police took a detailed interrogation of him, not so much out of suspicion but rather to find out heretofore unknown facts about the lifestyle and habits of the departed soul.
The man was most helpful. He recounted again how his friend was a compulsive drinker who was drowning day by day in the bottle, oblivious to commonly held priorities of life.
He continued further that, just the day before, he had come to visit him in his jeep. Then, he saw his friend sitting in the middle of the lane, drunk as usual and shouting expletives at him. That was his habit and he did not mind. So, he parked his jeep by the side of the lane, called out a neighbour and helped him inside the house. There, he had put him to bed and left him sleeping. Therefore, he was the one most shocked to hear of his death in the morning.
Well, the crime had to be solved. The best friend`s story was also confirmed by the neighbour. So far, no lead. Again, who would castrate him so? He had no clandestine links with anyone`s wife. His whole obsession was the bottle. And, it was hard to think that a psychopath would be roaming around so malevolently in that day and age.
Therefore, the only option left was to remove the smokescreens and the red herrings and look hard at the facts. The best friend was interrogated again. He was one of the last people to see him alive. His views would definitely have a bearing on the case.
So, he repeated his story. To an experienced policeman, there were some parts in the story which did not seem to fit. For instance, how the deceased greeted his best friend – with expletives. Also, the best friend`s repeated emphasis of where he parked his jeep i.e. by the side of the lane. Those days vehicles could be counted on fingertips and it was not a busy lane. He could have just parked right there on the lane and stepped out. Again, he called out a neighbour to help walk the drunken man. The deceased was only drunk, not unconscious. The friend could have just offered a hand and they could have walked inside. A question was thus raised whether the deceased was really not able to walk at the time and if so, why? All these points were not very concrete but they at least deserved a detailed investigation.
The smokescreen was somewhat fading at this phase. Something critical happened at that moment when the man came for the friendly call, became a strong opinion of the investigator.
Well, to bring out the denouement of this story, it was time to put some direct questions to the man who was with the deceased in his last moment. Was there any other vehicle plying in the vicinity? “No” was the answer. Was it possible that your jeep accidentally hit your drunken friend sitting on the road due to poor visibility in the evening twilight? Was it because of that, that he shouted expletives at you? After that was he unable to stand up and walk that you had to call a neighbour to help you take him inside? These questions were put one by one to the best friend.
Well, dear readers, what did you expect? The man`s sang-froid suddenly dropped and his expressions changed to one of a caged animal`s. The investigator was prompt in his duty. The confessions of the man were taken down with all necessary legal paraphernalia and the dark shrouds around the case were finally removed. One more revelation, though. The injury on the private parts turned out to be not intentional castration but a resulting tear due to being hit hard from behind breaking the bones of the hip which tore the tissues in front. The force being a blunt one, only the impact was transferred without tearing the clothes. At the time of the accident, nothing was seen externally and the friend of course thought that only a minor bump was sustained but the next day when news of the death was heard with the sinister suggestion attached to it, the man responsible for it was scared witless and began to care for his own skin and therefore the elaborate rearrangement of the events. Phew! At last, the culprit was nailed. One man`s victory is another man`s defeat. Always!
Today there is less oxygen and more carbon dioxide in the air and the earth is warming up. We are at risk of drowning under the melting ice. But, let any number of red herrings jump out of the water, the truth will always remain afloat.