Keeping in line with the adage that change is the only constant in life, weddings in Manipur are fast becoming a social marker for being ‘cool’ or ‘in’. Gone are the days of wedding invites being printed matter on a slip of white paper distributed among far off relatives and social friends with a few humble flower petals and traditional offerings of what is known as the Kwa tanga for immediate neighbors. In its place have come in custom made invitation cards with poetry thrown in, complete with maps indicating the bride and groom’s places marked out. If at one time, wedding photos meant what friends and relatives clicked, there are now a battery of professional photographers who take special wedding assignments and cover every single detail of the various rites and rituals. In fact, it is not just weddings anymore as the pre nuptial rites have become more fancier, elaborate and more expensive. The concept of wedding cakes is no longer an alien concept but become an integral indicator of just how ‘connected’ the couple who are to marry is in the social scheme of things. Was it always like this? Yes and no to both.
A decade or so, there were still the big fat weddings but they belonged to the high flying elites: when offspring’s of politicians, bureaucrats and landed gentry got married, everyone knew there would be something to set the weddings in these circles apart from the rest. One such wedding that got a majority section of the Manipuri society talking was the one between the families of a former top police officer and a top politician then. The wedding invitation was a rolled out velvet text reminiscent of the earlier royal era. Another high point that got much talked about then was TV monitors being used to beam the wedding proceedings. The truckloads of wedding presents given by the bride’s family and other high-ranking officers who attended the wedding remained high talking points then. The concept of the big fat wedding in Manipur has since, gone through a sea change. While all rites and rituals stay more or less compact, the external trappings have become larger than life and straight out of the wedding spectacles that one sees in Hindi or even international films. If a powerful contractor can have a Disco Jockey playing music for friends of the bride and groom, there is also the story of a former politician whose son organized a stag party where foreign dancers were flown in. The former happened recently in Thoubal while the later took place some years ago in Delhi. With easy money flowing in amid the age of power brokers and contractors holding sway, there will be no limit to wedding extravaganzas in the state. Rather, the more the rich splurge it out, the more it will benefit a whole retinue of small local enterprises starting right from handloom designers to make up artistes to wedding hall decorators to caterers to sound and light support staff.
The catch comes when the majority population with lesser financial resources than the select elite gets swept in the push and pull factor of ‘happening weddings’. For though it is true that big fat weddings in Manipur are no longer solely confined to the select few but well within the rich of new age locals flourishing outside the state and abroad, to many, the pressure of keeping up with ‘others are doing’ can be a vicious cycle of social pressure, debt and unhappiness all around. Even without the trimmings of a big fat wedding, a regular one still involves quite a substantial amount of money after the cost of wedding presents for the bride and other costs are taken into account. On the groom’s side too, there are the burden of various customs that it has to pay for, including keeping a good supply of alcohol to keep the groom’s friends entertained and in happy attendance. Bit fat weddings spell good business for small players, whose products get used at different levels but are bad news for those with tight purse strings. Additionally, they are no guarantee that the life of the wedded couple will be on of homely cheer and good will. Fortunately enough, there are a few who can afford to go for wedding spectacles but still prefer to go for low profile, no fuss ceremonies without the trappings of power, pomp and show. It is but a matter of to each, his own. While many are of the opinion that weddings are a one time event and that it must be done in style, others are equally adamant that such ceremonies do not have to mean a huge amount of money being spent. For those attending weddings big or small, weddings only mean one thing: the pressure of having to dole out cash presents or gifts!